


Idiot

by biancababy



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-07-28 22:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16250903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biancababy/pseuds/biancababy
Summary: He looked absolutely lovestruck, that is to say, like an idiot.Nathaniel hates that this girl makes him smile. It’s rather irritating, and he wishes it would stop.





	Idiot

Nathaniel irritates himself sometimes. He doesn’t understand why she makes him smile so much. It’s frustrating, how he has to fight the urge every single time he sees her. He can’t exactly be Big Scary Boss when he’s beaming all the time.

Today, she leaves his office, and he presses his lips together to keep from grinning. She’s just... god, she’s gorgeous, and whip-smart, and funny. And she’s so small that everything she does is... cute. Nathaniel doesn’t think he’s ever used that word in his life.

When it comes to her, though, it’s all he can think of. Cute. Sweet. Adorable. She’s genuinely a nice person; he notices her little uplifting notes to Paula, her patience with Darryl, her willingness to listen to Rebecca blather on about Josh Chan. She’s even nice to Nathaniel, encouraging him to eat, even if it’s just an orange, being the one to gently tell him that it wasn’t healthy to function on no sleep, and taking him to the dentist when he fell off that treadmill.

He didn’t fully understand the effect she has on him until one time, he was close enough to a mirror that he could sneak a glance at himself after she left.

He looked absolutely lovestruck, that is to say, like an idiot.

He ends up sitting in his office, making a list of pros and cons about her on a paper that he intends to burn the minute he gets home.

 

** Pros **

  * Pretty hair
  * Nice eyes
  * Smart
  * Would look good in photos together because we’re both tens
  * Short, which works for picking her up for said photos
  * Would (somewhat) impress Father
  * Mother would absolutely love her
  * Look good in same color schemes— great for events



** Cons **

  * She weakens my control over my body



It was ridiculous, the way he felt about this girl. He wanted her, and not just in a sexual way. He wanted to be with her, to lay in bed for hours and not do anything. That’s how he knew something was really wrong. He needed to just suck it up and talk to her.

It didn’t take him ten minutes of shadow boxing/psyching himself up in the bathroom to work up the courage to go see her.

He strategically timed it so they were both in the hallway, knowing that they would be alone.

“(Y/N)?” he said as he approached her.

She turned her head to meet his eyes (the corner of his mouth twitched). “What’s up, Nathaniel?”

“Not much,” he replied instinctually. He shook his head. “Actually, a lot. I’m here because you make me... smile, which is something I don’t normally do, or—or even want to do, but dammit, it just happens when I’m around you.”

(Y/N) didn’t quite know how to respond (stupid, stupid, why did you tell her all of that immediately?). “I-um... okay? Thanks?”

”Oh, fuck. I didn’t want to actually have to say it. It is because I have... feelings—ugh, gross— for you. Whenever I see you I end up grinning like a lovestruck idiot and I don’t know how to make it stop except to have sex with you and then regret it immediately. Then I’ll stop smiling, and shame is better than looking like that all the damn time.” Jesus, what was he saying? This sounded better in his head.

“Well...,” (Y/N) said, “first of all, I’m ignoring that last part because you need to go to therapy and talk about that. And second, smiling is not a bad thing. Actually, I want you to do something for me. Close your eyes and relax your entire body.”

A little confused, Nathaniel did as instructed.

“Okay,” she continued. “Now when I say so, I want you to slowly open your eyes and don’t fight your instincts. Just feel, don’t think. Alright, you can open them,” she said, placing herself across from him and taking his hands in hers.

Nathaniel opened them. Seeing her standing right in front of him (she was holding his hands holy shit holy shit) with a soft smile on her face (he couldn’t believe it was for him) made the corners of his mouth rise.

“It’s alright. Let it happen,” she coaxed, and Nathaniel did.

He was smiling. With teeth. He probably looked awful, and that’s why (Y/N) looked surprised.

“See?” he said, trying to tamp down his emotions and failing miserably (he was still smiling). “This is why I don’t do this. I look bad.”

“Nathaniel,” (Y/N) took a small step closer. “You have never been more attractive then you were ten seconds ago before you tried to stop it. When you smile, people don’t think you want to kill them. And that’s okay. No one will think less of you, least of all me.”

Nathaniel took a deep breath and relaxed his body, letting a small smile settle. “These feelings, they’re not just sexual. Normally I would hate being locked down with one person for the rest of my life, but you... you make me want that. I don’t just _want_ you, I want _you_. And you don’t have to say yes because it’s not fun if you don’t want it as much as I do, but... what do you say?”

(Y/N) was dumbstruck. Nathaniel figured she would let him down in that stupid nice way of hers, all “I’m sorry” and “I just don’t feel the same way.”

“Yes,” she said, unable to say much else. “Yes, I-I would love to.”

He watched her own smile grow, and it was beautiful.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered.

All she could do was nod.

He closed the distance between them and took her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers. She responded instantly, moving her hands to his collar, pulling him closer to her.

Nathaniel felt a rush to his head, something he’d never felt with anyone else (he wasn’t sure if he’d ever kissed anyone this tenderly).

 _A person could get addicted to kisses like this_ , he thought. It was intoxicating, so much so that he felt as if he could collapse.

Nathaniel pulled away a bit before that happened, leaving the corners of his mouth turned upwards to let her know that it wasn’t her fault. He let his hands float downwards to wrap around her waist.

“So how’s Friday night? The Harlequin Kitchen?” he proposed.

Her slight smile matched his own. "I’d like that very much. But only if you smile some more.”

“I will,” he affirmed. He was calmer on the outside, but inside, all he could think was _she’s perfect she’s perfect she’s perfect_.

As they walked back to the office, Nathaniel caught his reflection in the window. He looked like an idiot, but for once, he was alright with that.

**Author's Note:**

> That was... something, wasn’t it? Please leave kudos and comments if you liked it (please I need validation to survive).


End file.
